You Are Happy Read online

  In my vital role as part of the 8%

  Two weeks later

  Chloe invites me over for dinner

  XIV

  CHLOE

  Somewhere in the supermarket

  JEREMY

  Should we get fish or steak?

  CHLOE

  Fish or steak . . . What does your sister like better?

  JEREMY

  What do you like better?

  CHLOE

  How about you? What do you like better?

  JEREMY

  No, you.

  CHLOE

  Well, I like . . .

  Then we kiss in front of everybody

  Other couples look at us smiling

  Here

  There’s no one strolling alone

  We’re finally part of society

  We’re finally part of the group

  Of the gang

  With all of you

  It’s great

  All of us together

  JEREMY

  Me too: I like . . .

  Then we kiss again

  CHLOE

  Stop. It’ll take two hours to buy dinner. Your sister’s coming at six.

  JEREMY

  Fish or steak? Or would you rather I made roast beef?

  CHLOE

  Do I like roast beef? I can’t remember any more if I like it.

  JEREMY

  You love it.

  CHLOE

  Okay!

  JEREMY

  Great.

  CHLOE

  And we laugh

  And we laugh

  And we laugh

  I’m finally at home in the supermarket

  In the personal-care aisle

  There’s a man all by himself

  In front of the razors

  I look away

  JEREMY

  He’s all by himself.

  CHLOE

  I know.

  JEREMY

  It breaks my heart.

  CHLOE

  Me too.

  We kiss

  The guy who is all by himself smiles

  He’s looking partly at us

  Partly at empty space

  He’s clasping one hand in the other

  Like he’s wishing it was someone else’s hand

  But there’s no one for him

  Except the smiling girl posing

  On a pack of men’s razors

  Let’s go. It’s too depressing.

  JEREMY

  Maybe we should introduce him to my sister.

  Then at that very moment

  A girl comes over to join him

  CHLOE

  We feel relieved

  To say the least

  JEREMY

  Next stop the freezer section

  Tonight

  We’ll have ice cream for dessert

  We love ice cream

  CHLOE

  We love chocolate ice cream

  JEREMY

  My love?

  CHLOE

  Yes, bunny?

  JEREMY

  You’d be worried, right, if I left the house one morning looking very sad?

  CHLOE

  Are you all right?

  JEREMY

  Promise me you won’t let me do that.

  CHLOE

  I promise, my love. If necessary I will throw myself between you and the bullet you’re trying to fire into your head.

  JEREMY

  I love you.

  CHLOE

  I love you.

  XV

  BRIDGET

  On the street

  The winter is brutal

  I couldn’t wear my nice dress to go have dinner at Jeremy and Chloe’s

  I have six hundred and forty days of peace and quiet left

  In two and a half months

  Chloe will start shaving her legs less often

  Her bikini line will be less and less well-groomed

  Jeremy will take it personally

  But he won’t tell her that

  They’ll make love

  But much less often than before

  In four months

  Jeremy’ll be hanging out with his buddies several times a week

  When they ask him about his relationship

  He’ll say that a guy’s a guy, y’know, he can’t help looking around

  His buddies’ll understand

  Patting him on the shoulder the way buddies do

  In six months

  Chloe will French another guy at a party

  She won’t tell Jeremy

  But she will feel guilty

  In seven months

  They’ll have stopped going to bed at the same time

  In eight months

  In nine months

  In ten months

  In eleven months

  They’ll move into a bigger apartment hoping that will fix things

  They’ll even pretend they want a baby

  That’ll help them prolong their enthusiasm

  Then when they figure out that’s not working

  They’ll have a really hard time finding something else

  A trip maybe?

  After two years as a couple

  Jeremy and Chloe will break up

  I’ll find Jeremy in my clothes closet

  And the whole thing

  Will start all over again

  Or not

  Maybe not

  I ring their doorbell

  They come to meet me hand in hand

  The End

  Acknowledgements

  As well as Diane Brown and Ruby Slippers Theatre, the translator would like to thank the members of her Vancouver writing group—Carmen Aguirre, Lucia Frangione, Meghan Gardiner, Gilles Poulin-Denis, Marcus Youssef, and especially Jovanni Sy—who repeatedly read and discussed the text with her. She also benefitted from the fine production by Vancouver’s Théâtre la Seizième of Deux ans de votre vie (in French, using her translation for surtitles), directed by Craig Holzschuh, featuring Cory Haas, Jessica Heafey, and Julie Trépanier.

  Rébecca Déraspe is the author of the acclaimed plays Le Radeau, Plus (+) que toi, Votre crucifixion, Peau d’ours (a finalist for the Prix Michel-Tremblay), Le merveilleux voyage de Réal de Montréal, and Nino. She was a member of the writing collective for Ceci est un meurtre, which premiered in 2015. Rébecca also works as a screenwriter, and is a graduate of the National Theatre School of Canada.

  Leanna Brodie is an actor, writer, and the translator of works by Quebec playwrights Louise Bombardier, Catherine Léger, Hélène Ducharme, and others. Her own plays include The Vic, Schoolhouse, For Home and Country and The Book of Esther.

  “A reflection on the social pressures brought to bear on single people . . . It doesn’t draw conclusions, it’s very empathetic, very Québécois, yet also quite tough on prejudices and stereotypes. I found it highly intelligent and very well done.”

  —Radio-Canada

  “In the end, it doesn’t take much to make a good piece of theatre. You just need a good text, two or three well-chosen props, and actors capable of making you believe their incredible story. Deux ans de votre vie [You Are Happy] brings all of these elements together, but makes its mark above all thanks to the writerly voice of Rébecca Déraspe.”

  —La Presse

  “This absurd and refreshing fable written by Rébecca Déraspe . . . is like a cool breeze at the end of summer, and will surely provide an enjoyable evening for lovers of sprightly and intelligent theatre.”

  —Canoe

  “It’s a piece that blends
lightness and substance with dexterity. [ . . . ] A must-see.”

  —LeQuatrième

  “With a sparse set and witty dialogue, three actors command the stage in this story of forced love.”

  —The Peak

  “Delivers, in 60 short minutes of intelligent and mordant theatre, a defense of our rights as members of Generation Y to freely choose how we live our lives.”

  —Le Devoir

  You Are Happy © by Leanna Brodie

  Frech text copyright © 2012 by Rébecca Déraspe. All rights reserved.

  First published in French as Deux ans de votre vie by Lux Éditeur, Montreal, www.luxediteur.com.

  First edition: March 2016

  Cover photo of Julie Trépanier and Cory Haas by Emily Cooper, and designed by Jennifer Greenhorn with Esther Duquette for the 2015 Théâtre la Seizième production of Deux ans de votre vie.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, downloaded, or used in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher, except for excerpts in a review or by a licence from Access Copyright, www.accesscopyright.ca.

  202-269 Richmond Street West

  Toronto, ON, M5V 1X1

  416.703.0013

  [email protected] | playwrightscanada.com

  @playcanpress

  For professional or amateur production rights, please contact:

  Michael Petrasek at Kensington Literary Representation

  34 St. Andrew Street, Toronto, ON M5T 1K6

  416.848.9648, [email protected]

  Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

  Déraspe, Rébecca, 1983-

  [Deux ans de votre vie. English]

  You are happy [electronic resource] / Rébecca Déraspe ; translated by Leanna Brodie.

  A play.

  Translation of: Deux ans de votre vie.

  Issued in print and electronic formats.

  ISBN 978-1-77091-538-1 (paperback).--ISBN 978-1-77091-539-8 (pdf).--

  ISBN 978-1-77091-540-4 (html).--ISBN 978-1-77091-541-1 (mobi)

  I. Brodie, Leanna, 1966-, translator II. Title. III. Title: Deux ans

  de votre vie. English.

  PS8607.E715D4813 2016 C842’.6 C2016-900213-6

  C2016-900214-4

  We acknowledge the financial support of the Canada Council for the Arts, the Ontario Arts Council (OAC), the Ontario Media Development Corporation, and the Government of Canada through the Canada Book Fund for our publishing activities.